Overthinking

Hi, I haven’t posted in awhile and I apologize friends.

I am a Virgo and as much as I don’t believe in horoscopes, I know this much is true, that Virgos are over-thinkers. Kind of like that scene in Sponge-Bob when all the little Sponge-Bobs were running frantic in his firey brain tossing files and going crazy.

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It’s sometimes hard for me to communicate how I feel because my anxiety reminds me that if I mess it up, the person on the other end would judge me when in reality they probably don’t care as much as I would. It’s not that big of a deal.

Reality: IT’S NOT SERIOUS!

BRAIN: IT’S SO SERIOUS!

I’m sure I’m not the only one that said or did something and replayed that moment over and over thinking if I made the right decision.

Why am I talking about this? Well, my overthinking mind has led me to not asking all the questions I wanted to know because I’m thinking of how it’s going to sound. I think my problem for the most part is I’m always 10 steps ahead and I’m trying to live in the moment and I think over the years, I have gotten better at it. I’m not saying I don’t over think anymore, I do occasionally. However, I’ve learned a few things along the way like self-love.

I knew that I didn’t feel good, I knew I couldn’t sleep so I just tried to trust the process. I learned to train my mind to believe in the timing of my life. I don’t think there’s really any formula to completely rid of things we want to change in our lives unless we fully admit things about ourselves we want to change and how willing you are to change it. It really is just will and mind power. In other words, as Jay-Z says to speak things into existence.

I learned that if it wasn’t now, another thing will come along that’s better. Missed opportunities are pieces of the puzzle that lead you to what you are destined for. I’ve learned that comparisons won’t change your current situation, so stop worrying and start creating a life you want for yourself.

Some of the things that helped me stop overthinking:

  1. Journal/blogging -writing out my problems or just putting thoughts into words helped me see things clearly and put my mind into perspective of what’s truly important
  2. Time away from people -I’m an ambivert and as much as I love company and people, I love quiet me time to help me re-energize so I can talk to people again.
  3. De-Cluttering -throwing away excess and keeping things I need rather than have them all around me, helped clear my mind to what truly matters to me
  4. Cultivating Gratitude -being grateful everyday for things I have rather than not have put my mind at ease instead of worry about things

 

Lifestyle Edit

I’m doing this new thing. After realizing I own a lot of random shit I acquired over the years thanks to capitalism and mass consumption. I start to evaluate all the clutter in my house. Do I really need 10 pairs of jeans in the same colour? Do I need all the magazines from years ago under my bed? Do I need that random medium sized box filled with junk in my closet or my bags from 2014 that I never use anymore?

I recently watched the documentary Minimalism on Netflix, I highly recommend it.  It gave me a lot of insight about all the clutter we consume on a daily basis, the amount of money we spend on all the useless junk that help us fill voids in our life that we feel we lack.

I then realized that I consume way too much stuff. I used to buy shirts I probably already owned just because I was going to an event or I just liked the feeling of new things or buying shoes I don’t need. I would spend money on services like lash extensions or get my hair done just because I felt like it. There was always a need to spend money I didn’t even have. I don’t know where I acquired this habit, it sort of manifested itself and I knew I had to do something about it quick.

I should have known better and instead of beating myself up about it, I devised de-cluttering my room first. I spent half the day listening to Michael Jackson’s greatest hits while noticing this giant pile of clothing that occupied most of my room.

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It was pretty ridiculous to see how much clothes I never even wore or things I stopped wearing years ago stuffed in a tiny closet. I always found myself wearing the same pair of jeans, same shirts, and sweaters. So once I removed all the stuff I didn’t wear at all, my room looked way freer and more organized.

I was shocked to see the amount of stuff that would stress me out, make me feel disorganized, left me feeling clean and orderly.

All two pairs of the jeans I wore constantly were in one side, a couple dress shirts, a few casual shirts to match all my bottoms, and coats I wore daily. It made it so much easier to find the things I need for the day.

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I also started this new budgeting system called the Envelope system I found on Pinterest created by Dave Ramsey. I’ve been experimenting for a month now and I might do a blog post on how it’s working out for me, but so far I think this is working for me in terms of giving me a clear picture of prioritizing all the necessities (i.e. groceries, credit card bills, phone bills, bus pass, house bills, loan), 30 percent goes to wants/personal expenses, 20 percent goes to savings and repayments of debt.

So far, I really like seeing a clear picture of what I need to do and feel like I have more breathing room in terms of enjoying life with these little lifestyle changes.  I will update for future lifestyle edits. By clearing my space of some material things I don’t need I definitely see some improvement in terms of appreciating all the important things I do own and it helps me decide if I really need something before making a big purchase.